The Detox – Goat Feta, Pickled Squash, Pickled Red Onion and Parsley Grilled Cheese

When you think of a 27 year old young lady living New York City, you probably think of some girl in a grey business suit, hair in a tight bun, desperately flagging a cab with one hand in the air while the other firmly grips a dripping cup of piping hot coffee. Well, let me tell you something that’s not what it’s like at all.  Having just turned 27 this week (yeah, that’s right, birthday plug right here!) I can assure you that it’s not the case – not even in the slightest. Instead of running around the city like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, I’m falling down the subway stairs in front of people, spilling roadies on random dogs, and wiping my sticky hair off of my sweaty face way too often for public appeal.

So even though my life isn’t falling into the mold that I once thought was the norm, having this birthday has been awesome so far. I turned a year older and wiser, ate a lot of Momofuku’s, and had the best birthday party of my life. I never thought that I’d still be throwing ragers that last until 10am the next day when I reached this mature age but I guess that’s the beauty of being drunk – you can just keep surprising yourself over and over again until someone sits you down and tells you to calm-the-f*ck-down. Not that that happened or anything but I guess I’m sort of waiting for it.

ANYWAYS! Ok, so let me tell you about my party because it’s all i’ve been thinking about since it happened. When I was trying to plan the event, one of my friends was talking about how birthdays should just be an excuse to make your friends do whatever the hell you want. Well I of course thought this was the best idea I’d ever heard so I went with it – like hardcore. A million ideas flowed out of my demented mind – make everyone come to the party dressed as a sad clown, have the guests be only allowed to crawl once they walked in the door, ya know weird funny stuff that could never happen in a normal situation.

But then the lightbulb turned on and a revelation happened. what was I doing having my friends crawl around or plaster their faces in scary clown makeup? Eff that noise I thought! I should have a tropigoth dance party! If you’ve never heard of tropigoth (which you probably haven’t because I made it up – I think) let me tell you about it. Think of tiki luau colliding with the underbelly of the goth world – Have no idea what I’m talking about? Well watch the intro of that new Major Lazer video then. But yeah, imagine it. Tropical goth kids dancing around in black lights, glowing hawaiian shirts paired with smeared black make up and upside down crosses. It was amazing. And from what I remember  it was totally insane. It lasted until 10am the next day and everyone looked nuts…it was perfect.

So sure, you can party like you’re 18 when you’re 27 but the after effects are brutal. After it happened I felt like absolute shit and needed a detox. That’s where this detox grilled cheese comes into play. Fresh goat feta meets quick pickled onions and summer squash and fresh parsley refreshes your palette while the wholegrain sourdough makes your stomach not feel so uneasy. It’s pretty good at making you feel pretty good if that makes sense. Ok, so let’s get going…


– 1/2 cup of goat feta
– a few sprigs of parsley
– 2 slices of wholegrain sourdough
– 1/2 cup of quick pickled yellow squash
– a few slices of quick pickled red onions

To begin, lay on half of that delicious goat feta – spreading it slightly apart so that it’s not too overwhelming.

If you’ve only ever had typical feta then you are in for a treat. Fo’real. I’m totally obsessed with French goat version because it’s much sweeter than the typical salty brands that you buy from the store. It’s much more balanced and the texture is amazing. It melts in your mouth but also holds up when you cut it. It’s the shizzzz!

Now in the crevices, add some parsley! Because feta can have sort of a bite, this will refresh your palate  and even out the acidity.

Next add your pickled squash and onions. These veggies are slightly sweet but also tangy and they taste super duper fresh. So when your mouth tastes like a dirty old beer can, it’s the perfect solution!

To make a quick pickle, sprinkle equal parts sugar and salt (go pinch by pinch) and toss with your veggies. Finish with a few splashes of red wine vinegar and let it sit for about five minutes. It’s so easy and delicious. You’ll be using this quick little recipe all the time. I just know it.

Then add the rest of the feta and the top piece of bread and get ready to be refreshed!

Butter both sides of the bread and turn your burner to medium. You should probably take this waiting time to call your parents to let them know you’re ok. Two birds one stone… ya know?

Then once it starts to get all crispy and irresistible, flip it and repeat.

Once it’s all purdy on both sides, take it off and cut it and eat immediately! You don’t even need to wait with this grilled cheese because the feta isn’t really going to change its texture – it’s just going to get hot and delicious. Don’t cry! Don’t be scared that it’ll ooze out everywhere!

So to be completely honest, it’s a dirty non-glamorous life trying to make it in this hustling city but it is fun as hell and I that’s what makes it worth it. Oh, and if you ever need any party planning ideas or whatever you should totally email me. My mind has way too many weird ideas racked up!



One comment

  1. Instead of running around the city like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, I'm falling down the subway stairs in front of people, spilling roadies on random dogs, and wiping my sticky hair off of my sweaty face way too often for public appeal. Detox Your Body


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