The McKittrick – Fontina, Mortadella, Popcorn, Pickled Blueberries and Red Onions Grilled Cheese

Have you ever seen the movie Eyes Wide Shut? No? Yeah, me neither. But from what I’ve heard, I know that it’s super weird, extremely dark, completely creepy, and totally confusing, but also inexplicably awesome. And the craziest part is, I think I just got as close to being in that movie as I’ve ever been before without joining a cult.

Last week I went to see Sleep No More, an insane interactive and immersive play based on Shakespeare’s Macbeth. I’m not going to pretend that I’m a Shakespeare fan – let’s face it I was totally a slacker in high school so I never read the play but I can tell you that this version is totally unlike anything you’ve ever seen/read/been to before – there are no seats, everyone but the actors are hidden behind these horrifying masks, and you’re basically running around a giant building the whole time. Seriously, from the moment you walk into The McKittrick Hotel, a 5-6 floor labyrinth of creepily decorated rooms, you’re taken to a different world. Loud, haunting parlor music warbles in and out of tune while you run through dimly lit rooms which have different acts going on. For example, there’s a scary moonlit maze made of barren trees, a psychiatric ward full of bloody children’s bathtubs and messed up beds, and among others – a ballroom that screams “you’re about to get murdered like in the shining and you’re going to enjoy it”.

They say fortune favors the bold at this Punchdrunk production, so you’re urged to be adventurous. Of course after my special edible kicked in, I got obsessed with that idea and went all out. In one freaky baby’s bedroom, I found a teddy bear that had the stuffing coming out. Not really sure of what I was doing, I reached my hand inside the plush and what did I find? ONE SINGLE BLOODY TOOTH. So bizarre right?! I know. I was completely freaked out but after that, things just got even more weird. I got a one-on-one with one of the actresses who pulled me into a hidden room with newspapers taped to the walls, did a monologue about the saddest story there ever was, and fed me tea from a cup while she doted the tears out of my eyes and brushed my hair. As she was talking, the music that was going on outside the room synced up perfectly with her story which made me feel like I was tripping balls –  I was not though and if I can give you one word of advice – DON’T DO IT. I think you’d die.

Anyways, I don’t want to give any more away but if you’re in NYC you’ve gotta see this. They’ve been saying that it’s going to close down for months now, but it sells out every night so I think it’ll be going on much longer than that. And because I had such a weird night, I figured that I’d share a super weird grilled cheese to keep the theme going… So here we go, blow your mind with this mortadella, pickled blueberry, Wisconsin’s Emmi Roth fontina, popcorn, pickled red onions, and white bread.

Lez get weird with these things:


– 1/2 cup of grated fontina from Emmi Roth
– 1 thick slice of mortadella
– 1 tbs of pickled blueberries
– 1 tbs of pickled red onions
– a handful of popcorn
– 2 slices of white bread
– 2 pats of salted butter

It’s almost halfway through my Wisconsin Cheese Month feature so this special sammy spotlights Emmi Roth’s insanely delicious fontina. It’s creamy, buttery, and melts like my heart after I met the singer of Saves the Day when I was 16 years old. Deep sigh.

To begin, pile on half the cheese onto one slice of bread.

Then add some pickled red onions – these are super simple to make and can be kept in the fridge for like a week or two. Just finely dice some red onion, add equal parts sugar and salt and then some red wine vinegar. Let sit for an hour or two and then use. Seal when you’re done and keep refrigerated!

Now it’s time for the blueberries! Generously add some of these sweet and tart berries and don’t forget to throw a few back. Even though blueberries already have that sort of taste profile, the pickling liquid just exemplifies the sweet and tart nature of these blue balls (heheheheeheh yeah, i’m still in 9th grade).

I made these just by adding them to some sweet, bread and butter type pickling liquid that I whipped up. But if you don’t feel like going all out, you could just add the blueberries to a preexisting pickle jar if you have one in the fridge.

Now add the mortadella and the rest of the cheese.

When I had originally made this sandwich, I really wanted it to have fancy ass bologna, but then I found out that it doesn’t really exist and if it does – it’s probably just called mortadella. So yeah, that’s how this happened. It’s cray!

ALMOST DONE! Add the other piece of bread and butter the sandwich up. Give it a little kiss.

Now over medium high, grill the sandwich until it starts to melt and gets all golden and buttery on both sides.

Once you notice that the cheese looks like something you might want to drizzle over your naked body, gently take off the top piece of bread and add the popcorn – this gives it a nice unexpected airy crunch and really lightens up the sandwich.

Let it sit for a few minutes before you cut it up and then chow down immediately. I’d probably recommend drinking a grape soda with this sandwich because that’s what i feel like doing, OK!?

So this is totally one of the strangest GCs I’ve made in a while and I love it! It’s kind of like the Kanye and Lindsay Lohan type crazy but without the baggage. It’s good though so step out of your typical grilled cheese comfort zone and give it a try! Peace out babies.



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